That this city is full of hot chicks
So many mistakes to make
I swear the Universe is out to get me. I’ve been single for almost a year and a half with not so much as a sniff of a new girl.
And then, when you least expect it, the Universe dumps a bunch of stuff in your lap all at once. Not just one thing, a few.
Nothing can ever be freakin easy or clear for me, can it?
On the plus side for you, there are numerous situations that could end in me saying, “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
Details to follow…
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Drinkin and Dialin
I’m not sure if this story shows how I’m maturing or if it serves as further proof about how pathetic I’ve become…
When I was in college I did the typical college things. Most notably, I partied. And, of course, partying gave way to stupid and/or hilarious decisions. The most common decision was to drunk dial people and/or incoherently ramble about how “awesome” someone was. You know, like, “Hey, John, you know Karen right? Of course you do! Isn’t she just AWESOME. She’s so pretty and cool and awesome. Like SO awesome, you know?”
Oh, the good ole days!
A little while back a couple friends and I noticed I had a new drunken obsession.
Was I drunk-dialing again? Nope.
Mumbling about some hot girl I worked with? Negative.
Whining about missing my ex? Not at all.
Blabbing about some chick at the bar? No, sir.
It is none of the typical drunken hangups.
Instead, my drunk brain turns to…my dog. That’s right, my damn dog. I now ramble on about how great my dog is. Sigh, what has become of me?
I ask whatever poor group of saps happens to be out with me: “Why would anyone give away my dog? Why was she in a kennel? I mean, seriously, who would give up such a great pet!?”
It is now a running joke, that drunk-me mostly brings up to get a chuckle, but I’m sure part of drunk-me is still quite serious.
What. A. Nerd.
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Adventures in e-Dating: Vol. 3: Strippers need boyfriends too
Really, eHarmony? Really?
Ever since I complained in this blog about my lack of matches, I became flooded with new matches.
Most had no picture or had names like “Chasity” or “Candi”
I’m not joking.
How did eHarmony know I love strippers and prostitutes?
Damn, maybe they are good at finding matches!
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Adventures in e-Dating:: Volume 2
e-Harmony is a mess. I seems many people sign up on a whim or during a free trial, which leads to a Myspace-like scenario: some dead links, deleted profiles, and inactivity for weeks or months.
It can be pretty frustrating. Even when you are delivered a match, there is no guarantee they are still using the site. Once you find someone that is actually active on the page, one of you is inevitably not attracted to the other. In other words, it’s a crapshoot, much like the regular dating scene.
After a few “matches” that never really went anywhere, I finally received a match about a month ago that showed promise. She was hot, lived in the area, was into a lot of the same things as me and just seemed to be an all-around fun person. I sent out the first round of questions fully expecting her not to respond.
Surprisingly, she responded and then send her first round of questions. I was (cautiously) excited as we continued to communicate through the site. I couldn’t believe she was attracted to me. Of course, after getting to know me should could hate me, but at least she wasn’t repulsed by my pictures. I had made it passed the first, superficial step.
Finally, it was time to determine if we wanted to talk outside of the site. She actually made the request in her last controlled communication to me! She said something along the lines of “I don’t plan on keeping this account after my free trial is over, so if you want to stay in touch, e-mail me here…”
About a day later, I sent her an e-mail saying I definitely wanted to stay in touch. We exchanged a couple e-mails and it was seemingly going well. We had some things in common and appeared to be getting along.
However, my excitement was quickly quelled. At the very end of one of her e-mails she said something about wanting to see some pictures of me, because she never saw them on the site. Apparently, because she had only done the free trial, she did not get to see pictures of people. Damn. It.
I may not have the highest self-esteem, but I still held out hope that she would find me attractive and if she didn’t, then so be it. At least we could stay in touch and maybe become friends. No need to end our conversation just because we may not go on a date or anything.
I told her to find me on Facebook and she could see my pictures there. She friended me soon after and I waited to see what occurred. I never heard from her again.
Ouch.
I sent her an e-mail a week later saying something like “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while, hope all is well.” I mean, she could have just been busy, right?
Wrong. Apparently, I repulsed her so much she dropped all forms of communication. Not even a “Hey, I don’t think this is going to work out” or anything. Just quit talking cold turkey.
As much as that hurt, I was pretty pissed. I don’t care if you aren’t attracted to me, but damn, show me some courtesy.
The slight anger and emo-ness subsided a day or two later and I’m ready to move on to someone worth my time (whether that means dating or just as friends), b/c she certainly was not.
e-Dating: 2, Me: 0
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Adventures in e-Dating:: Volume 1
If ever I could preemptively tell I would be saying “Michael, I’ve made a huge mistake,” it was when I caved in and signed up for eHarmony.
I don’t even know why I did it. I don’t even really want to be in a relationship, plus I always chuckled at the people who tried these e-dating sites. It seemed so desperate and pathetic. I don’t think I’ve reached the desperate and pathetic level yet, but there I was just a few months ago..filling out my eHarmony profile.
I’ve told myself I’m doing this because I was never the “Hey baby, can I get your digits” kind of guy and this seemed like more of my speed for meeting someone. Maybe I AM just sad and pathetic. Oh well…at least this will make for some good blog fodder.
I will be detailing my thoughts on e-dating here, so stay tuned. I’m sure something embarrassing or terrible will happen to me, so enjoy!
If I didn’t feel desperate, pathetic and/or sad just by signing up, I sure did shortly thereafter.
After you fill out your profile it immediately searches for your matches. This is supposedly based on some amazing hybrid of scientific research and magic that will find the person you are most compatible with.
I anxiously awaited to see what smoking hot chicks would appear and was promptly greeted with the following message…
“I’m sorry, we could not find any matches for you at this time.”
Sigh
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Don’t say I don’t have goals!
Is it wrong that one of my current goals is to be on Texts From Last Night?
Where was this website when I was in college? We had some pretty epic nights back then and I’m jealous I didn’t get to submit all the debauchery to a site like that.
Let the drinking and ridiculous ideas begin!
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